Think You Know how to Argue? Here’s how to “Win” in an Argument

By: Taylor Madrid

Yelling, screaming, angry emotions, and regretful actions. You may start to be reminded of a typical “argument”, and what this has been portrayed to be in the daily lives of almost everyone. Despite what the world has shown us, successful arguing is not frequently formulated with emotion and personal attacks, but instead, with intellectual thought and problem solving. For all of you competitive folks out there, here are some proven tactics (from an avid arguer) to effectively handle or “win” in an argument. 

Staying calm and collected

Lots of arguments are centered around personal topics where the emotions begin to flood into your words. However, as difficult as it may be, keeping your feelings and composure in check during an argument can help avoid aggressiveness, further conflict, and terrible decision making. Even if the disagreement gets escalated or plateaued, you have the ability to maintain that calmness and walk away from the situation. 

Understanding the opposing point of view

As focused as you are on supporting what you believe to be deemed “right”, addressing or empathizing with the other argument can help both people involved develop a solution to the disagreement at hand and defuse any rising tension. 

Using “I” statements

Instead of being accusatory with your words and attitude, keep your mind on your own perspective. Solely focus on your own opinions when expressing them and remember that the opposing side most likely possesses emotions of their own. 

Comprehending the true meaning

This is one of the most crucial parts of winning your argument that is commonly overlooked—It is you and them versus the problem. The beginnings of arguments are commonly rooted by the clashing of personal opinion and choosing the so-called, “better option”. By viewing from this perspective, you have the ability to establish a calm and informative tone within the argument, introduce a conciliating collaboration, and compromise between you and your “opponent”. Focus not on the person, but on the problem.

By implementing some of these strategies, you create and emphasize your main goal of the argument, which is not necessarily “winning”; but, rather, properly communicating, maintaining  relationships, building an understanding of the minds of others, and most importantly, finding a simple solution to the pensive problem. Now, that's what I call, successful arguing. 

Image Credit: HelpGuide.org